Settling In... Let's Get This Show On The Road!

Our flight landed in Morocco on Saturday, May 14th, and it has been a wild ride (as you can see from the highs and lows throughout this post) ever since.  I just can't believe that it has already been two months.  So much has happened, and quite frankly, I’m just exhausted.  With that being said, I copied and tweaked an extremely long e-mail that I sent to some friends.  Despite it's length, I feel as though it briefly touches on the events from the past two months.  In the future, I'll have to devote more detailed but shorter posts to the lessons learned throughout this beautiful country.  As for now, please bare with me as I share the unadventurous side of the settling in process.  I promise not to bore you all with any posts this long in the future… so here we go, Mom (seeing that you will probably be the only one interested in reading this entire post)!

The first week felt like a vacation, but like most vacations (even the best) there comes a time when you’re just ready to go home.  This is our home, and I have not only accepted that, but I’m more than excited about it.  However, after about a week and a half I ran into a little rough spot which may or may not have included a small pity party during the little bit of alone time that I have during the day.  All has been fine (emotionally speaking) since then.  After being isolated from the phone and Internet for almost 2 weeks, it was a lifesaver getting that piece of the puzzle completed which helped provided the communication and connection I needed.  I believe the rough spot was more difficult than usual because I was hurting for Gabriel as well.  Around the same time he too started to realize that this was more than just a long vacation.  He began talking about wanting to go to our house and see his friends in DC.  I held back tears almost every time.  He asked for a couple of friends by name every day, and he threw a few pretty good fits!  I had a hard time knowing when to let things go and comfort him and when to be consistent with discipline.  I do understand that it's hard for him losing the comfort of his familiar things and schedule.

Around this same time the boys also caught a case of "travelers diarrhea", which hits more than 90% of people who move here, but poor little Abraham's tummy couldn't handle it like the rest of us.  He had 8 or more dirty diapers a day for 2 weeks and would lie on the floor arching his back while screaming!  It was painful to watch, broke my heart, and was the straw that broke the camel's back.  After sending his diapers to specialty labs and several visits to the Embassy Clinic, he beat this thing, but that was only the beginning of his fight back to happy baby days.  After waking up in the middle of the night for 2 weeks with tummy aches, he had developed a new habit that flashed me back to sleepless newborn nights!  As a 1 year old, he was not having it with any sleep training tricks.  He could out scream them all!  It took a lot of patience and prayer, but he returned to us as sweet as can be, and I'm probably a little sweeter with some sleep myself.

Gabriel started at a French preschool just around the corner from us almost as soon as we arrived.  I am so thankful he immediately had a routine and somewhere to go for half a day. They only speak French at his school, so I'm sure that was a little stressful for him at first, but he adjusted quickly, and it will be more than worth it in the long run.  We searched for dual-language schools (French and Arabic) or even just Arabic preschools, but we were frustrated to find that the system does not begin Arabic instruction until the children are around 5.  Abraham can start at Gabriel's school at a year and a half, which will be in January.  At this point I will have more time to devote to myself, and I’m anxious to pick up some language classes, build some relationships, and maybe even pick up a dance class and volunteer.  We were able to celebrate Abraham’s first birthday in a very special way, and I have our friend Ghita to thank!  She took me to the party supply stores and even baked a cake.  Her daughter, Nizo, cooked cupcakes, and all of our new friends met us out at the beach.  How many children get to hear Happy Birthday sung to them in 3 different languages, English, French and Arabic?  It was truly unforgettable!

Our Moroccan friend, Ghita pronounced Rita, is an amazing woman who Jamil fortunately met on his familiarization trip through another Olmsted Scholar.  She has been a HUGE help, and I have found her to be extremely kind and sincere!  She actually owns the preschool (which is adorable) where Gabriel attends.  She helped us find our apartment before we got here, so we moved right in.  The only problem is that we found out that we could possibly get a lot more money than the embassy initially stated for our housing allowance.  There was a paperwork trail, of course, so it took about a month to get approved.  We decided it would be worth it to break our contract and move into a bigger and nicer place before our furniture (house hold goods) arrives.  Our place is pretty small with very little storage.  To put it bluntly, for the past two months we have been living in an empty apartment with echos of children screaming, no AC in the summer, and Jamil, Gabriel and I have all been sleeping on a cot together...oh and no car.  There's no sense in installing AC units (which no one uses here and you'd honestly be surprised how quickly our bodies have adjusted) or starting to fix this place up if we are about to move again.  It's been so much work just getting set up with the basics.  Honestly, I realize that we could be happy here and make a precious home with very little, but if we have the opportunity to live more comfortably for the next two years, we've decided that being less comfortable now will be worth it in the long run.  We expected to be house camping and getting somewhat settled for about a month and then begin our travels the second month.  Unfortunately, our car did not arrive by the date on the paperwork, and we've been stuck here apartment hunting and desperately trying to find another place before our shipment of furniture (House Hold Goods) arrives.  This is our biggest frustration at the moment, as I am anxious to spend more of my time building relationships here and traveling around our region. 

We have definitely been on a wild ride trying to find a place to live.  There are no appointments (and if there are, they are rarely kept), and a lot of things get done in shady ways.  The best thing about apartment hunting is that is has gotten me out of the house speaking with the locals.  After I walk Gabriel to school in the morning, I ask several concierges if there are any available apartments in their buildings.  The Rabat door men are in the know about everything that happens in this city.  In fact, they are evidently the go to people when the police are looking for someone.  I have found one concierge, Hassan,  who has been a huge help and has shown me several apartments located right in our neighborhood, which we love.  We fell in love with one apartment, which we could actually see from our living room window.  However, we were unable to reach the owners by phone.  After weeks of waiting for them to return our countless phone calls, and after visiting many other apartments that just didn't compare in quality or price, we decided it was time to pay a real estate agent and get this show on the road!  Hassan will not be forgotten, and we truly appreciate all of his help.  

After all is said and done, we finally got the place we wanted and are moving in on FRIDAY!!!!  The best thing about the new apartment is that there is s..p..a..c..e, but I also love the Moroccan tiles and decorative, painted ceilings that make it feel like a unique Moroccan home.  Now that this small apartment has strangely become our home, we're packing up again.  This place, which we have been so anxious to leave, is the home where Gabriel was potty trained and where Abraham took his first steps!  It’s funny how your perspective changes when it’s time to say goodbye. .  More good news...our furniture and car arrived in Morocco this week!  They are just waiting on some paperwork that is out of our hands (imagine that) before it can be delivered.

I cannot wait to be settled and start collecting things for our new home.  We went to another market in Sale with tons of Moroccan furniture and home decor, and I was in heaven.  We sold our couch, plates and a lot of other stuff before we moved, so we are going to buy some really unique and affordable things here to use and then bring back to the states.  I'm getting anxious about this move!  Living here has definitely been roughing it in ways.  However, the stress of setting up a home has not been an issue since we arrived, because it really hasn't been an option.  I made an outline of our new apartment and talked to Jamil about how all of the furniture would be arranged, and he quickly warned me about not becoming obsessed.  I assured him that I would not, but I am! ;) 

Our friend also found us a housekeeper who started as soon as we moved in...huge help/perk!!!  She is with us Mon-Fri from 8-5 and Sat from 8-2.  Did your mouth just drop?  Mine did too, and still does.  We were a little uncomfortable with the idea of it (it too is a foreign concept to us), but Ghita already set it up and made it hard for us to say no.  It's fairly standard for middle class families, especial those without help from extended family, to have help this way (which I feel like we, as American women, have something to learn about trying to do it all ourselves, and after almost 3 years of having kids, being far from family, and doing it all myself, I have graciously accepted the help).  It’s honestly affordable and is considered fair and decent pay.  However, she only speaks Darija (Moroccan Arabic).  In the long run, the pluses way out number any language barrier, and in many ways, the language barrier is a great thing.  I hope to learn a lot about the language and culture from her, and she's anxious to learn some English from working with our family.  We desire to treat her with respect and leave a good impression of an American family.  Fatima doesn't have any children of her own, but she is great with the boys.  She walks or cabs with me to buy groceries, which is an event in itself, cooks dinner and is washing our clothes by hand since we don't have a washer/dryer yet.  With no ac, she keeps the windows open and cleans the tiled floors everyday (they get pretty filthy).  I am in awe watching her!  I am most thankful that I can focus so much of my attention on the kids at this time.  They so need it!

The language puzzle is interesting.  Jamil started back into language school for Modern Standard Arabic almost immediately, which has provided him with many connections and opportunities (See him below giving a presentation in Arabic about the Olmsted Foundation).  He begins his formal studies at the University in the fall.  The language school is very busy over the summer, so they do not have any private tutors, which is what I need with the schedule of the children and Jamil.  We're trying to decide if I should continue taking MS Arabic, or pick up French or Moroccan Arabic, Darija.  The latter are the two languages spoken here, but Modern Standard Arabic is used at the University.  Jamil is leaning towards me studying MS Arabic some days and Darija other days.  We got picked up for Arabic as a family when we were initially slotted for Jordan, but I couldn't really use it here since the Moroccan Arabic is so different.  It's a linguistic mess, and I see his personal frustrations everyday.  The menus and grocery stores are all in French, so if I studied French at least I could be using the language I'm learning in everyday situations.  However, both French and Arabic are languages I could use in many other places around the world.  Through my rambles, you can at least see that we have it narrowed down to either MS Arabic or French.  Thankfully, The Olmsted Foundation has trusted me in making the right choice for our family.  However, I feel the weight of this huge decision everyday!  Again, we will see.  

It feels like I've been stuck in the settling in phase forever, but we really have done a lot of fun things since we arrived.  We are familiar with our area, Agdal, and are learning more and more about the city, Rabat, every day.  We even got to go to a great Moroccan party, watch the European Final soccer match in a pub full of die hard fans, and see Shakira in concert (Fatima will also stay and watch the children at night if we ask her ahead of time)!  Ghita took us to the Sale market I mentioned above with the most beautiful Moroccan tiled tables, light fixtures, wooden furniture, pottery, and about anything you want in wrought iron.  I bought some plates, so that we can stop eating off of paper plates, and they're all made right there.  We also went to the Medina, which is the center of the city with small winding streets full of people selling just about anything you can think of.  This is where I bought the boys Moroccan outfits for Abraham's party.  It's pretty amazing!  The beach is beautiful and our apartment is walking distance to a lot of great things.  You can even see the ocean from the roof top.  There was an annual music festival going on when we got here, so we could hear great music from our apartment every night or take the kids to see the street musicians in the early evenings!  There are shops such as Rolex and Cartier around the corner from us and a lot of cute cafes, but there are also a lot of run down buildings in-between, beggars and trash in the streets.  The city is an extremely strange mixture of high and low, elite and poor, chic and shabby... there's not a lot of middle of the road quality, prices or even people.

We're still searching out the best options for keeping in touch.  We have new Moroccan phone numbers, but they are changing again as soon as we get our Moroccan ID cards.  Of course, it's super expensive to call from the states, but there are a lot of alternative options that are much cheaper.  We've found Skype and Magic Jack to be the cheapest ways to call.  A new Magic Jack Plus is set to be released soon, so I think we’re going to stick with Skype voice and video calls and then add the Magic Jack Plus upon it's release.

Another note, I'm pretty nervous about driving here.  Cabs are really cheap, but I've just got to figure out the safest way to travel with the kids.  It's not worth hauling 2 huge Britax car seats around in a cab, and they legally don't need anything!  Surely there is a better compromise, right?  Without the car we are walking or cabbing it everywhere.  Our apartment is in the ideal area for city living, so we expect to continue using these forms of transportation even after the car arrives.  However, on the second day we were here our front stroller tire tube decided it was time to pop when we were a couple of miles from the apartment!!!  3 years with this stroller and the tire pops now!   Luckily a mechanic patched it, but I've got to get some back ups ordered.  It may have something to do with the pressure on the plane....FYI.  We had a single stroller back up to hold us over, and we have come to the realization that our fancy double stroller is not a necessity but a luxury.

Overall, I know that it will get better as I learn to let go of what I know and learn a new way of living.  Actually, I'm sure it will not only get better, but it will be the experience of a lifetime!  However, two years from now is not the time to look back on it as "the experience of a lifetime".  I want to truly appreciate it and own it while I'm living it!